The Weekend and Monday

We went camping this past weekend, which meant I – in my still-weak early diet mindset – deliberately planned some indulgences. I ate chips and drank wine and even had pancakes and bacon for breakfast (typically I don’t like traditional heavy breakfast food AT ALL and have no problem skipping it, but the bacon smelled wonderful and the pancakes were great). I came home yesterday with a gain, naturally, but – oh well. I got back in the saddle.

Yesterday I had a Slimfast for breakfast, another for lunch, a big salad, and a Lean Cuisine. It didn’t feel difficult to focus on eating right. Today I woke up with the desire to work out. I did my climbing machine before breakfast, and then later in the morning, I actually decided to go downstairs and have a second workout, where I ran 2 miles on the treadmill. This extra workout has made me quite famished this afternoon, but that’s OK.

Here’s what I ate today:  Slimfast shake (190); coffee with cream (50); grapefruit (80); yogurt (100); big salad (truly, it was huge because I was so hungry) (300); high-protein Slimfast shake (180); broccoli (70); milk (140); Lean Cuisine (350); See’s Candy Scotchmallows (225). Total:  1,685. But I figure my extra workout burned at least an extra 200 calories, so hey, my total isn’t so bad. I’m plugging on.

Another Day

Yesterday wasn’t the greatest. I did work out, but I had a particular dinner in mind and ended up cooking for the family and eating more than I should have. I made a huge pot of vegetable noodle soup with meatballs, sort of a Dutch version of Italian Wedding soup. I’d gotten distracted throughout the day and basically forgot to eat more for lunch than a Slimfast shake, so by the time dinner rolled around, I was famished. I ended up eating a buttered bagel before dinner, and then I had a big piece of French bread with butter, along with a couple of glasses of milk and a pretty big bowl of soup.

My actual calorie tally probably wasn’t that bad, but bread just does something to me to where I gain weight. I woke up this morning having gained a pound. Ugh.

Here’s what I ate yesterday:  Slimfast shake (190); coffee with real half-and-half (50);  banana (90); high-protein Slimfast shake (180); vegetable noodle soup with meatballs (400?); milk (180); bagel with butter (400); French bread with butter (200); two Scotchmallow candies (150). Total:  1,840.

Today was better, although I had an odd morning. I drove the kids to school very early, and when I came home, I was cold and a little bit tired. I lay down for what I thought would be a few minutes, “just to warm up,” and woke up TWO HOURS later. I didn’t eat breakfast until 11:30. I got caught up in household tasks and didn’t work out or bother with lunch until after I picked the kids up from school. By the time I ate my salad, it was almost time for dinner, so I skipped my Slimfast lunch shake.

I worked out, though. I ran 3 miles on the treadmill. It was the first time I’ve been back on my own treadmill at home, which seems to be harsher and less cushiony than my mom’s. We’ll see how well my injured ankle will hold up to the workout.  While I was exercising, it was good. I actually hit a few of those moments where I was super-focused and felt very good.

Here’s my food diary for today:  Slimfast shake (190); coffee with half-and-half (60); big salad (2 cups romaine, diced carrots, diced tomatoes, and a tablespoon of ranch dressing) (250);  Lean Cuisine (320); milk (150); apple (80). Total:  1,050.

What’s interesting is that running takes away my appetite. Technically, I didn’t eat enough today, but I’m very full right now and in no mood to even think about cheating.

Tuesday

Well, I stuck with my plan, for the most part. I did cave and put real cream in my coffee instead of the fat-free half-and-half I had committed to use, but otherwise, things went OK. I worked out, using my strider machine for over 30 minutes. I didn’t really encounter any debilitating hunger today.

Here’s what I ate: South Beach Bar (190); coffee cream (I’m guessing about 100 calories total); orange (70); large salad with a tablespoon of ranch (250); Slimfast shake (190); 3 Chick-Fil-A chicken nuggets (120); milk (90); green beans (100); Lean Cuisine Parmesan Crusted Fish (290); two See’s Candies Scotchmallow candies (150). Total:  1,550. My goal has been to stay around 1,200-1,300, but I’m OK with 1,500 for today.

Learning From The Past

So. Here I am again.

I had this goal when I was at my parents’ house, that I would stick religiously with my plan and come home with a 5-pound loss.

That did not happen.

I did stick with my plan, at least much more than I typically have. I ran most days on my mom’s treadmill, easing my way back to 3 miles after having taken a break from running since Christmas due to an injury. I did a fairly decent job staying away from too much fattening food and too much wine.

But I did cave and have a couple of nights of abandon, where I ate and drank what I wanted. We also took a day trip to see some relatives, and during that day I indulged in a couple of desserts, as well as a pit stop at McDonald’s, where I ate chicken nuggets and French fries.

I weighed myself every day while away from home, and I have to say it was still surprising – despite my various indulgences – to see that I hadn’t really lost anything. I would have assumed that my semi-vigilance and my pretty intense workouts would have made a bigger difference.

Nonetheless, I returned home with resolve to just dig in and do this thing. I went back and read a bunch of the posts from when I started my plan 6 years ago. One thing I noticed is that after the first month or so, it wasn’t like I remained pristinely perfect with my eating habits. I recorded more than a few stumbles along the way – where I would fire up the oven and bake garlic bread and then eat way too much of it, or where I’d do that AND drink wine.

Yet I still steadily lost weight.

I was trying to figure out what the difference was.

I think one thing is age. I’m 6 years older now, and it’s just harder to get myself into a losing pattern. It takes more to gain momentum.

Also, I think it’s easy to see the cave-ins from before without acknowledging that before I started to slip up occasionally, I spent several weeks very diligantly sticking to my plan.

I made some small yet pretty dramatic lifestyle changes, too. Like, I gave up regular half-and-half in my coffee and replaced it with fat-free half-and-half. This doesn’t sound like a very dramatic change, but I actually think it was. I think it did something to my body to send the message that it had to dip into my fat stores rather than depend on new infusions of fat each morning. (Well, no, there’s no scientific evidence for that, but that’s how I felt when I gave up the good stuff and switched.)

I was vigilant and diligent for several weeks.

That’s what I’m going for this time around.

Here’s what I had yesterday:  Special K Nourish hot cereal (190); Red Lobster grilled shrimp skewers with vegetables (450); 2 cheddar bay biscuits (150 apiece, so 300 total); side salad with dressing on side (150); Slimfast high protein shake (180). Total:  1,270.

And here’s what I ate today:  Slimfast high protein shake made in the blender (190); banana (80); Slimfast ready-to-serve shake (180); large salad with 2 tablespoons dressing (300); zucchini (100); Lean Cuisine chicken fettuccine (250); 4 tsp parmesan cheese (50); milk (90); apple (80). Total:  1,320.