Well, after those last two posts, I fell back into my same old mindset. I made it through ONE DAY of restricting myself, and immediately the lies of Crazed Addict Fatgirl came back to haunt me. It was like, “Look, you got back down into the 150s.” (I’d weighed in at 158, I think) “Look how easy it was. So you can have this snack [or this huge meal, or whatever] and it obviously does not REALLY hurt you…”
And I’d succumb to this thinking because in the moment, I’d rather listen to the lies and indulge myself instead of shutting down that voice.
I think what it is – what keeps prompting SO MANY posts where I essentially say the same thing – is that falling back into my old habits (using food for entertainment, eating way too much, not stopping until I’ve grown sick of a taste) dulls my mind into not calling out Crazed Addict Fatgirl for her lies. Because I don’t have a big enough problem right now – I’m still within a weight range where getting back down into the low 150s is “only” 5 or 7 pounds away – it’s easier to lie to myself.
I really don’t want to undo all the hard work I put into this. I really don’t.
So today, I’m back at it. I’m going to focus on not thinking about things too much…about just plodding along and DOING it. There was really something to that old Nike advertising slogan, “Just Do It.” When I’d just plug away at my plan and get a few days of momentum going, it wouldn’t be so terribly hard.
That’s what I’m going to do. No lie.
