Today I experienced several things that made me get seriously angry.
I am typically not an angry person. I rarely even realize, until some time after the fact, that someone did something or said something that made me mad. I’m sure some of you know the drill – perhaps you’ve gone over conversations where things felt “off” and it will suddenly occur to you that you were slammed in some way.
That’s how I am, usually – not always the most perceptive when someone puts me down or does something that offends me.
But today…well, suffice it to say that I was furious for at least two separate reasons, all within a short time. I was out shopping when all this happened, and as I started to drive home and was stewing about my frustrations, I had this sudden and inexplicable desire to binge by buying a huge burrito. I was hungry, yes. But not really THAT hungry. Yet the thought of throwing everything to the wind, tossing off all restraints, just had an amazing appeal.
I didn’t succumb, but quite honestly, I came close to driving through Del Taco and buying myself a Macho Chicken Burrito. And perhaps some French fries. Not because I was particularly craving that or especially hungry, but because I was frustrated…and binging would have – somehow, although I’m not sure how – brought some sort of weird relief.
I’m starting to think that I have some major issues with food. It’s truly by the grace of God that I’m not hugely obese, with the way I would naturally turn to food for stress relief, and for entertainment.
I’m trying to deal with these habits. Today I was in such a hurry to get my errands accomplished that I didn’t want to take the time to stop at Del Taco. And, I really do like the progress I’ve made and didn’t want to deviate from my plan. That was part of it. But I came awfully close.
I also had a weird schedule where I didn’t eat enough throughout the morning and early afternoon. I ended up getting most of my calories in the evening.
Here’s what I ate today:
South Beach bar (140); Slim-Fast High Protein shake (190); broccoli (100); frozen turkey dinner (not Lean Cuisine, but larger, because I was so hungry that I knew I needed more than a small entree) (460); milk (180); two “brownie bites” (180). Total: 1,250.
