Saturday and Sunday May 12, 2008

After all my talk about not being able to eat that much anymore, I had another slight cave-in last night.  I say “slight” because it didn’t seem to affect me in the way that the others have.  When I weighed this morning, I was at my lowest number yet (172.2).  Yes, I do wonder how much better my progress would have been if I hadn’t consumed a large bowl of Caesar salad, packed with croutons, freshly grated parmesan cheese, and regular (not nonfat) creamy Caesar dressing (at 200 calories per 2 tablespoon serving), paired with a good-sized salmon steak that had been grilled on a cedar plank.  And oh yeah, did I mention that I had a nice glass of wine with it?  And about 3 large pieces of garlic bread?

I did work out strenuously yesterday, prior to this large and high calorie feast, but portion control?  I simply didn’t care.  And something about the salad was not filling.  Neither was the fish.  Or the garlic bread.  I kept trying to guage my hunger, like Bob Greene teaches in his The Best Life Diet, and I honestly did not feel like I was stuffing myself, even though I stretched the meal out over about an hour and kept pacing myself.

It was all so delicious that I absolutely did not care.  Sigh.

But this morning it was back to the task at hand.  I stuck to my plan quite well today, not really experiencing any temptation.  I’ve decided that once I reach my goal, I’m going to plan one of these deliberate larger meals perhaps once a week.  For now, though, I need to once again regroup and get re-focused on what I want out of this.  Although I’m in far better shape than I was a couple of months ago - as evidenced by the fact that I am now able to wear all the capris that were way too tight last summer - I’m still not at the point where I want to be.  I’m in the low 170s, but I’d like to be 160…or even in the mid-150s.  The low 150s are a supremely good weight for me, healthy and relatively easy to maintain (as long as I keep working out a few times per week, and keep eating fruits and vegetables). 

I’ve lost about 18 pounds total, and I am approximately at the halfway point.  I need to remember that although I’ve come a long way, I still need to stay focused.  An occasional cave-in is not going to ruin things or derail me completely, but it’s slowing my progress.  We go on our summer trip the second week of July.  That’s less than 2 months away.  I’d like to be in the low 160s by that trip.  The only way I can achieve that weight is to remain vigilant.  I might even need to amp up my workouts.  I cannot get lazy or think that a gigantic meal or glass of wine is not going to make a difference.